if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
