If i come over, it means nothing
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize