What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
