I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
Randomize
