With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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