I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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