those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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