She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize