I just saw a hot homeless man
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
