It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
