Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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