Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
We have started to decorate penises.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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