Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
