lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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