dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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