my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
When are your genitals available?
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
