Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
It all started with a game of naked twister.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
