her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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