We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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