What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Randomize
