Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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