He disabled his match.com account in front of me
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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