the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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