This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
did you just send me my own nude
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
