mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Can you bring me the toilet please
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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