sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
