The maid of honor just puked.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
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