32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
