They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize