Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Sex in the backyard? Check.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
