Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Randomize
