I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
ugly people sure do ruin things
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
