i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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