by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
