HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
its liver damage thursday
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
