Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Randomize
