I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
