we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize