Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
