Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
i believe in u and ur pee
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize