problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
