a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
my liver is dry heaving
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
