I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I know her cup size but not her name....
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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