I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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