He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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