In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
