I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
