I must be too annoying 4 u.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Randomize
