I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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