do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
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