Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
