i jhust puked up my retainher.
My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
