I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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