Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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