Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
