I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
