Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
