Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
