So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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