"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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